These photos were taken right before my I graduated with my BS in 1998. Amber and Frankie were engaged and close friends of mine. A few months after these photos were taken, Amber was killed in a drunk driver auto accident along with Frankie’s mother. They were on their way to go visit Frankie and his father on a job in Ohio (I think). That was a horrible day for alot of people espically Frankie. His daughter was in the backseat of the car but thankfully only sustained a broken collarbone and a few other injuries. I remember taking him to the funeral home to see his mother and then to the holding place to look at her Lincoln Town Car that was so crushed it didn’t resemble a car. It just broke my heart. His father died not too long after that. So basically, except for a two year old daughter that lived in another town with her mother and friends, he was alone. I can’t imagine what that felt like.
He got married within a few years after all this happened to someone from out of state. It didn’t last long, which was no suprise to me or my sister, who was also good friends with them. I did try to keep in touch with him over the years. Sometimes to talk about Amber or other times just to shoot the shit. Where Amber was one of those people who was full of energy and life, Frankie was someone who was just a likeable, good guy. This summer he killed himself. It had been awhile since we had spoken. A few months at least. I ran into him at Wal-mart and made the usual small talk when you see someone you know and don’t really have time to stop and talk. He was in good spirits, laughing and joking. He said give me a call and I said ok but never got around to it. My sister ran herself in circles playing the what if game…what if he would have only called one of us…what if she would have called him…if she had been a good friend she would have known something was wrong.
He supposedly left a note and she was determined to know what it said. I didn’t want to know. No matter how long it was it was basically going to say ‘I’m sorry, I can’t take it anymore’. I know how she feels, It is hard not to feel like I should have done something. But neither one of us could do that. If he wanted us to intervene he would have reached out. He didn’t. I know he had alot of back pain. He had had several surgeries on his back and was scheduled for another one shortly. He drank alot and there were rumors of hard drugs but I never saw him do any of that so I choose not to believe that. He fought depression and his girlfriend had just left him and went back to her ex.
What brought on this walk down memory lane? To start off, I went by the cemetery on my way to my sisters house because…well I don’t know why. I was just compelled to stop and visit Amber, her brother and Frankie’s graves. When I got to my sister’s house she told me that they are auctioning off Frankie’s property next weekend. Everything – house, acerage, tractors, vehicles and contents of the house. I don’t want to go. To see strangers pawing through my friends personal thing isn’t going to be easy for me. After all he didn’t have close family to remove the clothes, photos, personal memento that didn’t mean anything to anyone but him. I don’t think I could stand it. But then on the other hand, how can I not go? It will be a hard decision.
1 Comment
October 26, 2006 at 5:02 am
Wow, my comments never stick here. I did leave something here about this sad, sad story. Life can be so difficult. I’m sorry for your loss.