Misc. Stuff

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Misc. stuff #2

I was able to see my nephew this past weekend on Saturday for only a few minutes because my brother in law was being a j***a** and for about five hours on Sunday. Those of you who know me and my ongoing health problems are probably shaking your heads about right now. Five hours with a 2 1/2 year old, what was she thinking? Well, I hadn’t seen Tan Tan in about three weeks and I really really needed my Tanner fix. He was a good boy but auntie chrystal’s house is not kid proof and he is a curious little monkey climbing on everything, opening all the drawers in the house and one time I had to pull him out from under the bed. He thought he saw my kitty Zipper under there. She was a smart girl and stayed well hidden while he was there. I felt pretty good on Saturday and Sunday.

It wasn’t until he had been gone about an hour that picking him up and running around after him had caught up with me. I noticed something else after he left. The motivation to write that I had pre-Tanner visit was gone. It confirmed something that I had thought (hoped) for awhile. That my creativity is directly linked to my health. I have to admit I was getting worried. I was beginning to think that my muse was on permanent holiday. Oh, I could edit what I already had written but there was nothing new forming in my brain. So you are thinking, so what, work on what you already have. Which is good advice since I have yet to get anything in good enough shape to submit, but my creativity is a big part of who I am, and not just in my writing, in everything I do. So the thought of losing that part of myself was like losing my sense of smell. I could live without it but something would always be missing.

I have felt rotten for the last two days but feel better today so I am going to try to get some writing done. I wish I could set myself a schedule like say 1000 words a day. LOL No, better make that more realistic. 100 words a day. Pretty puny but I would be happy with that. Maybe I should say 10 words a day since I haven’t been doing even that lately.

I still haven’t gotten to the doctor. No insurance, no expensive tests. The college still hasn’t hired me full time but I do have a job interview next week with the state that pays more. Enough to do more than barely survive. I have spent the last six months praying that any and all castrophies pass me by. Not a great way to live, I know, but we all have to do what we have to do. I’m sure that this financial stress hasn’t helped my creativity any either.

I read another manuscript for The Wildrose Press on Monday. Out of the four I have read, only one is publish worthy. If the majority are nonpublish worthy, I see why they need readers. There was one that I got to the point that I just had to say ‘I can’t read another word’ There was no plot. Just a random series of events and tons of misunderstandings (instead of conflict) that could have been fixed if one of the characters would have just said “What did you mean by that?” ugh!!!! No internal/external conflicts, etc. But I think the author has potential. The dialogue was good, her descriptions of scenes were good and her voice was good. She just really needed direction and a critique partner. Of course I need a critique partner too, but I am leaving that for later when I consistantly feel better. I don’t want to let another critique partner down because I feel to bad to do my chapters or critique theirs.

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