Thursday or The Day I Should Have Stayed In Bed

It has been one of those days.  I got to work and went to relieve one of the girls so she could have a break (which gives me 45 minutes to work on my WIP), popped in the disk and it was damaged.  I am sure you are thinking surely she is smart enough to back it up or put it in one of those little plastic carrying cases.  Uh, no…. not this time.  I have been carrying the uncovered disk in my purse and pocket all week, knowing something could happen to it but I guess it wasn’t registering that the 3300 word WIP I whipped out this weekend wasn’t saved anywhere else and I had thrown the hand written copies away (something I usually never do until I have a printed out version).  The other thing I know I haven’t saved at home was the STBP contest entry.  I was actually more worried about that than the new WIP.  I was hoping to turn it in to Rachel Vincent  at the november meeting next weekend.    My only defense is that I have been preoccupied this week.  I went to take the drug test and physical yesterday for the job.  yea!!!!!  I’m not worried about the drug test, so if I passed the physical, I am in.  The guy said I would hear from him by Friday.  I am actually nervous about it.  I am pretty sure I passed but this year has been a rough ‘en filled with one hard knock after another and I don’t want to get my hopes up. 

When I went down to relive the girl for lunch I had a singleminded purpose.  Figure out a way to retrieve those WIP’s.  Suprisingly enough, to me anyway, I accidently/don’t know how I did it, found a way around the damaged part of the disk and retrieved it.  WOO HOO!!!!  I am doing the happy dance right now.  So I emailed them to myself to worry about tonight at home. 

I don’t remember if I have said this before but the really cool thing about this job (besides the large raise and great benefits) is that I will be able to write on my down times, which from what I have been told is about 4 or 5 hours a day.  That is great news for me since I have put all of my energy into going to work and nothing else these last 6 months or so.

I have written 3300+ pages since Saturday.  Yes, I have been a busy little bee.   Unfortunately it is on something new instead of working on a WIP that is near finished.  I have just had this idea banging around in my head for the last few weeks and the idea moved from being vague to something more specific.  It helps that I have been doing some research on it too.  I am going to try something different this time.  I am going to try to plot the story out.  I am not a plotter and therefore my WIPs tend to go off in a direction that I may not have wanted to begin with.  Sometimes this is good, but alot of times it isn’t.  I am beginning to think I need the guideline plotting will give me or at least an outline.  At this point, I don’t know how long the story will be or who my hero is.  Sounds strange huh?  I am having trouble deciding between the twins – #1 being the guy everyone thinks is a bad guy but really isn’t all that bad or #2 the one that everyone loves who is really a self-centered jerk.  I’ll probably go with twin #1.  He seems to be the one who is pestering me to tell his story right now.

I haven’t heard about the job yet but they said they would let me know.  The weird thing was that they contacted me for an interview by mail so that is probably how they will contact everyone who interviewed.  I haven’t given up hope yet. 

Friday Funk

I have a bad case of the friday funk today.  I should be looking forward to the weekend but I have to mow the back yard one last time and clean my filthy house.  Two things that are on my least favorite thing to do list.

I think this has been the longest week of my life.  I have been cranky and tired all week and haven’t wanted to go to work or do anything but stay in bed.  My health has done a nosedive but I think it is because of the cold.  The bad spells seem to concide with drastic changes in the weather.

The job interview on Wednesday went well, but you know how those things go.  That could mean nothing. I was the third person the interviewed and they said they had to interview all day.  It would be nice if I have a message on my machine when I get home tonight telling me one way or the other.  I won’t hold my breath.

I have kept up with my puny daily word count.  Hopefully I will have alot more time this weekend to write.

I have been writing 100 words a day for the last half of a week and am pretty proud of myself.   Going from 0 words a day for the last 2+ months to 100 is a great improvement for me.  I finished reading a full manuscript for Wildrose Press yesterday since I wasn’t feeling well so I didn’t do any writing.  I just can’t make myself write when I feel bad.  Part of this mystery illness I have is lack of concentration so 100 words for me is an accomplishment.  I am so tired of feeling bad.

On a lighter note, I have an early job interview on Wednesday morning in OKC with the state.  It pays quite a bit more than I am making and has really good benefits.  So everyone cross their fingers for me.  I am working right now as a temp at the college but the pay isn’t very good and no benefits and no job security.

Books! Books! Books!

My love affair with books started at a very young age.  Two distinct memories from my childhood are hiding a book of fairy tales (and an Osmond Brothers record) from my destructive little sister and driving cross country on a family vacation to Nashville and my mom saying “For gosh sake Chrystal, put that book down and look out of the window”  I was hooked at an early age.  What made me love books and my sister want to tear them up?  Probably the same thing that made her 6″, blonde and green eyed and me 5′7″ with brown hair and eyes.  We are as different on the inside as we are on the outside. 

If I go somewhere overnight, vacation, etc., I always pack books.  I have 3 in my locker at work.  A classic, a romantic suspense and a medieval history book.  Just like craving food from one day to the next, I never know what I will want to read on my lunch hour.  I always carry a book in my purse for oil change wait, doctor’s offices or just when I have a chance to read a few pages.  I never read just one book at a time.  Right now I have at least five books going and can suprisingly enough keep up with all of them.  My family, of course think I am nuts.  Even saying that, my dad helped me construct this 12′ X 9′ bookcase.  I love it.  This isn’t all of my books though.  I have four more free standing book cases throughout the house.  I used to hide my book addiction by stacking them up in the spare bedroom closet or under the bed so that no one would see them and I didn’t have to hear how weird they all think it is. But as you can see I don’t give a rip anymore.  How did your love affair with books come about?

Misc. Stuff

Misc. stuff #2

I was able to see my nephew this past weekend on Saturday for only a few minutes because my brother in law was being a j***a** and for about five hours on Sunday. Those of you who know me and my ongoing health problems are probably shaking your heads about right now. Five hours with a 2 1/2 year old, what was she thinking? Well, I hadn’t seen Tan Tan in about three weeks and I really really needed my Tanner fix. He was a good boy but auntie chrystal’s house is not kid proof and he is a curious little monkey climbing on everything, opening all the drawers in the house and one time I had to pull him out from under the bed. He thought he saw my kitty Zipper under there. She was a smart girl and stayed well hidden while he was there. I felt pretty good on Saturday and Sunday.

It wasn’t until he had been gone about an hour that picking him up and running around after him had caught up with me. I noticed something else after he left. The motivation to write that I had pre-Tanner visit was gone. It confirmed something that I had thought (hoped) for awhile. That my creativity is directly linked to my health. I have to admit I was getting worried. I was beginning to think that my muse was on permanent holiday. Oh, I could edit what I already had written but there was nothing new forming in my brain. So you are thinking, so what, work on what you already have. Which is good advice since I have yet to get anything in good enough shape to submit, but my creativity is a big part of who I am, and not just in my writing, in everything I do. So the thought of losing that part of myself was like losing my sense of smell. I could live without it but something would always be missing.

I have felt rotten for the last two days but feel better today so I am going to try to get some writing done. I wish I could set myself a schedule like say 1000 words a day. LOL No, better make that more realistic. 100 words a day. Pretty puny but I would be happy with that. Maybe I should say 10 words a day since I haven’t been doing even that lately.

I still haven’t gotten to the doctor. No insurance, no expensive tests. The college still hasn’t hired me full time but I do have a job interview next week with the state that pays more. Enough to do more than barely survive. I have spent the last six months praying that any and all castrophies pass me by. Not a great way to live, I know, but we all have to do what we have to do. I’m sure that this financial stress hasn’t helped my creativity any either.

I read another manuscript for The Wildrose Press on Monday. Out of the four I have read, only one is publish worthy. If the majority are nonpublish worthy, I see why they need readers. There was one that I got to the point that I just had to say ‘I can’t read another word’ There was no plot. Just a random series of events and tons of misunderstandings (instead of conflict) that could have been fixed if one of the characters would have just said “What did you mean by that?” ugh!!!! No internal/external conflicts, etc. But I think the author has potential. The dialogue was good, her descriptions of scenes were good and her voice was good. She just really needed direction and a critique partner. Of course I need a critique partner too, but I am leaving that for later when I consistantly feel better. I don’t want to let another critique partner down because I feel to bad to do my chapters or critique theirs.

Remembering Friends

  These photos were taken right before my I graduated with my BS in 1998.  Amber and Frankie were engaged and close friends of mine.  A few months after these photos were taken, Amber was killed in a drunk driver auto accident along with Frankie’s mother.  They were on their way to go visit Frankie and his father on a job in Ohio (I think).  That was a horrible day for alot of people espically Frankie.  His daughter was in the backseat of the car but thankfully only sustained a broken collarbone and a few other injuries.  I remember taking him to the funeral home to see his mother and then to the holding place to look at her Lincoln Town Car that was so crushed it didn’t resemble a car. It just broke my heart.  His father died not too long after that.  So basically, except for a two year old daughter that lived in another town with her mother and friends, he was alone.  I can’t imagine what that felt like. 

He got married within a few years after all this happened to someone from out of state.  It didn’t last long, which was no suprise to me or my sister, who was also good friends with them.  I did try to keep in touch with him over the years.  Sometimes to talk about Amber or other times just to shoot the shit.  Where Amber was one of those people who was full of energy and life, Frankie was someone who was just a likeable, good guy.  This summer he killed himself.  It had been awhile since we had spoken.  A few months at least.  I ran into him at Wal-mart and made the usual small talk when you see someone you know and don’t really have time to stop and talk.  He was in good spirits, laughing and joking.  He said give me a call and I said ok but never got around to it.  My sister ran herself in circles playing the what if game…what if he would have only called one of us…what if she would have called him…if she had been a good friend she would have known something was wrong. 

He supposedly left a note and she was determined to know what it said.  I didn’t want to know.  No matter how long it was it was basically going to say ‘I’m sorry, I can’t take it anymore’.  I know how she feels, It is hard not to feel like I should have done something.  But neither one of us could do that.  If he wanted us to intervene he would have reached out. He didn’t.    I know he had alot of back pain.  He had had several surgeries on his back and was scheduled for another one shortly.  He drank alot and there were rumors of hard drugs but I never saw him do any of that so I choose not to believe that.  He fought depression and his girlfriend had just left him and went back to her ex. 

What brought on this walk down memory lane?  To start off, I went by the cemetery on my way to my sisters house because…well I don’t know why.  I was just compelled to stop and visit Amber, her brother and Frankie’s graves.  When I got to my sister’s house she told me that they are auctioning off Frankie’s property next weekend.  Everything – house, acerage, tractors, vehicles and contents of the house.  I don’t want to go.  To see strangers pawing through my friends personal thing  isn’t going to be easy for me.  After all he didn’t have close family to remove the clothes, photos, personal memento that didn’t mean anything to anyone but him.  I don’t think I could stand it.  But then on the other hand, how can I not go? It will be a hard decision.

Character Names

How do you name your characters when you start on a new story idea? I had alot of time to think about this while I was fighting a bad cold this past weekend and had a new story idea knocking around in my head. There is power in a name. People have preconceived ideas associated with certain names. Colin, Nickolas, Gabriel, Wolfric, Dominic, Ian, Rhys all make me think of a powerful, mysterious intriguing, sexy hero.

Names that don’t evoke such a manly image to me are names like Henry, Allen, Earl, Stacey, Bob, Kenny, Omar, Charles, Raymond (sorry guys).

Then there are the names that can go either way – Tom, John, James, Jeff, Will, Mark, Joe, Matt.

Women’s names are the same. For a kickass heroine I don’t want names like Mary, Anna, Jane, Laura, Ruth, Cammie. I want names like Raven, Hope, Jerica, Rhianna, Talena, Tara, Faith. Normal girls put in extraordinary positions I like names like – Olivia, Sarah, Shannon, Jenna, Rona, Traca, Emily, Rachel, Jennifer, etc.

How do I name my characters? Get ready…..I picture the character – their strengths, weaknesses, physical characteristics, the whole package and a name pops into my head. No kidding. That name is no way written in stone and I have been known to change a name if a little way into the story it just isn’t working for me. I know some writers who don’t name their characters until they are pretty well into their manuscript. I just can’t do that. Our name defines us as much as any other part of our personality so I just go with what feels right.

I do not – absolutely not – name my characters after friends or family members. Why don’t I? Well, if I name a secondary character after my mom and the character turns out to be a crack head whore. Well mom has told all of her friends – no everyone she knows that her darling daughter has written a book and she is in it. She reads the final draft and instead of being thrilled that her name is mentioned in the book, she is hurt or mad that I have embarrassed her like that. She doesn’t want to be the pro ho. She wasnt to be the cool sidekick but it’s too late, the book has already been turned in or whatever happens when an author gets published. Maybe crackhead whore it too harsh. (I am reassuring mom at this point that no one believes she is a crackhead whore).  Say the character is a greedy, manuplative troublemaker instead. Same thing happens because even though it is fiction she is afraid that people will believe there is a little bit of truth in it. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have picked that character to name after her. After all she is my mother and I should know how she really is.

At this point can anyone spell DISASTER? I don’t think I can stress that strongly enough. It may work for other writers but not for me. So I name my characters the same way I write, by what feels right. All I can say to all you brave souls that walk through the minefield of naming characters after people you know, good luck with that.

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